January 13, 2012 By Kyle Wright

Why did you sign up for The Celebrity Apprentice?

They called and they asked and I said, “OK.” It was the same with Dancing With the Stars. Everyone always says, “I wanted to challenge myself” or “I’ve always been a big fan of Carrie Ann Inaba.” That’s not really how it works. They called my agent, and we talked about if it was a good move and what the hours would be like.

Do you think it’s going to be more challenging than Dancing With the Stars?

Nothing can match the pressure of Dancing With the Stars. Just being alone out on a stage, having them announce your name so you can make an ass out of yourself in front of 20 million people. Celebrity Apprentice is a grind. On Dancing, I practiced two or three hours a day and then went home. This is a 14-hour day, six days a week.

Are you sizing up the competition?

People think celebrities are soft and lazy. You think Penn Jillette got where Penn Jillette is today by being lazy and soft? You think Arsenio Hall got a late-night TV show because he didn’t want to get out of bed? Or that Clay Aiken was runner-up on the biggest competition on the planet because he was lazy? It’s quite the opposite. My family is lazy. Celebrities aren’t lazy. They’re super motivated.

How much of an impact does the venue have on your stand-up show?

Most comedians prefer a venue like the House of Blues because it’s more intimate. But then there are other comedians who prefer to do one show for a thousand people instead of four shows for 250 people. It’s a trade-off. You end up modifying your act to use less crowd work. It’s less, “Hey you, where’d you get a hot dame like that?” Now I sound like I’m doing comedy in the ’40s.

Ever see a random gay guy or a woman in your audience that you wouldn’t expect to be there?

Well, you should know that to me, all gay men are random. There will always be one or two black guys who will say, “I’m your only black fan!” It’s funny because you always think you’ll get predominately straight white dudes who are in their 40s, but there are also a lot of chicks in their 40s. And then the guy-dude-bros. I think that Loveline and Dancing With the Stars bring out the ladies.

Are you surprised by the success of your podcast?

I’m surprised by how successful the podcast is, and by how successful my book was. But I’m also surprised when things fail. I had a home-improvement show that everybody loved. But no one watched it, so it got cancelled. TV Guide said we were the best home-improvement show on TV. It’s a two-way street.

Does that make the success of the podcast random?

I am more suited to the podcast format than most comedians and broadcasters are. You’re not going to get a million and a half downloads a week because somebody spun a cosmic wheel on iTunes and it landed on you. You need to provide content or a voice that they aren’t finding somewhere else. Success for movies is more random. You can have a good product but have it not catch on. Something like the podcast is a little more like opening a restaurant. You better serve good food with good prices and good help on a daily basis, or people won’t come back.