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In the latest issue of the New Yorker, there's a story about seals in the harbor around Manhattan. I didn't get very far into the article, because early on there's a passing mention of a seal named Hoover who used to live at the New England Aquarium in Boston. Hoover, it turns out, had an interesting talent: he learned how to talk. 

I'm not sure how I've lived in Boston for 10 years without knowing that we once had a talking seal. You'd think this would be more of a local legend, right up there with Paul Revere's Ride and the great molasses flood. I found some audio of Hoover online, and I'm truly disappointed that I never got to see him (he died in 1985). Hoover was not only a talking seal, he was a total Masshole.

I guess it makes sense that when Boston hobos teach a seal to talk (this is what I presume happened), he ends up sounding like a guy who just slept off a bender under the Southeast Expressway. I found some audio of Hoover online, and his favorite phrase is "Hoovah! Hoovah! Get ovah heah!" followed by a maniacal laugh. He sounds like he's ready to call into WEEI and complain about where McNamara's batting Dewey in the lineup.

Here's a link to the audio:

http://www.st-andrews.ac.uk/~wtsf/Hoover.html

If it's been done once, it can be done again. I demand that we teach another seal to talk. And then pair him with Mark Wahlberg in a buddy-cop movie called "Seal of Approval".