BY JONATHAN SOROFF


Diet Secrets of the Rich and Famous
To celebrate the restoration of the magnificent Brewer Fountain on Boston Common, the Young Friends of the Public Garden held its second annual Summer Party at the venerable Union Club, which conveniently boasts a magnificent view of the Common and the Back Bay skyline.

Seen sipping drinks and kibitzing like mad were such sparkly young things as blonde bombshell Samantha Strauss, ubiquitous party animal Charley “Curly” Aldrich, saucy minx Brittany Greenfield, the delightful Nina Lewis-Schroeder and her dapper other half, William, City Hall hottie Jonathan Greeley, the “No-Relation-to-Paris” (thank Gawd) Ryan Hilton, Tucson-bred beauty Lindsay Lightman, brunette blue-blood Molly Storer, windup doll Joshua Janson and his handsome husband, Ben McGuire, the slyly wry David Sebastian Wedemeyer, and one person who made the fatal faux pas of saying, “The food is better at the Somerset Club,” within earshot of a waiter.

For the record, the food was delicious, the bartenders attentive, and guests got the added bonus of a magnificent pink and orange sunset seen through double-paned windows, distorting the light to look like a surrealist painting.

Meanwhile, overheard by the bar:

Kissing a female acquaintance hello, one guest said, “Sorry. I just burped beef teriyaki in your face,” to which she responded, “Awesome. Maybe if I smell it I won’t be hungry, and I’ll actually fit into my wedding dress.”


Elizabeth Hasselbeck Has the Same Effect on Me
It’s tempting to give in to obvious clichés like “monkey business” or “more fun than a barrel of…,” so I’ll just say that the benefit for Helping Hands—which trains capuchin monkeys to act as assistants to the disabled—was an elegant, enjoyable cocktail party.

The evening, held in the salon at Mistral, attracted the likes of head honcha Megan Talbert, development guru Andrea Rothfelder, arctic blonde heiress Julia Owens, babe-a-licious volunteer and event organizer Lisa Flores, bon vivant Terry Smith squiring the stunning Caraline Zeizel, honest-to-God monkey trainer Alison Payne, petite yummy mummy Wioletta Zywina and her husband, Brian Knez, and numerous equally fabulous others.

It was a highly edifying affair—who knew capuchins were the smartest New World monkeys?—but the evening’s highlight was when a volunteer explained that one monkey-in-training would scream nonstop whenever The View came on TV, to which a guest responded, “Who could blame him?”

Tyin’ on the Feedbag
They might consider including a wet T-shirt contest at the annual Chefs in Shorts, so reliably has the weather been uncooperative at Boston’s biggest outdoor barbecue. 

Not that the rain did anything to dampen people’s spirits. More than 30 of the city’s top restaurants participated in the chowdown, which raised money for scholarships in the culinary arts, and there’s an added camaraderie that comes from getting a bit soggy.

Spotted among the sea of umbrellas: banking smoothie Jean Paulynice, delightful and delicious ballerina Rachel Cossar, TV star and creature hunter Pat Spain and his main squeeze, Bond Girl Anna Nguyen, the mother-daughter duo of Olivia and Isabelle English, expectant parents Emily and Matt Robinson, professional foodie William McAdoo, and so on and so
      forth.

Everyone gorged on the great eats and ignored the lousy weather, except for one poor woman who was working the party and had gone with the unfortunate wardrobe choice of a white dress with no undergarments, prompting another female to say: “Ew. Total tacofest!”  

However, the evening’s funniest remark came from the woman who, when asked about resisting caloric temptation, said, “Oh, please. Didn’t you hear? My ass just got its own zip code last week.”