by jonathan soroff

Sheets to the Wind
The sunset was glorious, the crowd was convivial, and no one fell into the Charles at Dancing on the Docks, the Esplanade Association’s not-to-be-missed summer soiree.

Front and center for the barbecue and dance party, held on the docks at Community Boating, Inc., were such nonstop party people as fashion icon Erin Gilligan and her handsome husband, Hoyle Kim, the stunning Melinda Sarkis, the dangerous trio of the babe-a-licious Ashley Wisneski and Kelly Boullet with blond Adonis Mark Schwindenhammer, dapper mush William Grote, mover and shaker Peter Gori, the newly engaged Joannas—Humphrey and Prager—brunette bombshell Charlotte Lewis, tall drink of water Dietrich Falkenthal, and various others, including one person who cautioned against looking up “plumpkin pie” on Urban Dictionary.

After filling their bellies, guests filled the dance floor, and an amazing time was had by all, with the possible exception of the two women whose exchange went like this:

“My daughter’s in Vogue this month.”

“Well, my dog is on Facebook.” 


Seeing Stars
Plymouth Rock is still the unprepossessing little boulder you remember from grade-school field trips, but the Mayflower II, situated not far away on the waterfront of “America’s hometown,” inspires awe. Imagine that a ship so tiny brought 102 people on a voyage that changed the world.

That might sound grandiose, but to put it in perspective: One of the guests at Plimoth Plantation’s Celestial Celebration gala, held in a tent overlooking the harbor, had a 125-foot ketch out of Newport that she offered up for auction: a day-sail for six people, with a six-person crew. 

Lending a hand in keeping the important replica afloat, and having a grand old time doing it, were such notables as board chair Steve Brodeur, National Book Award–winner Nathaniel Philbrick, best-selling author Marianne Leone Cooper and her Oscar-winning husband, Chris, the convincingly lifelike Sen. Scott Brown and his gorgeous wife, Gail Huff, Duxbury chatelaine Judi Vose and the ever-affable Terry, the flawless Bea Roy, grande dame Marty Mugar, divorce-lawyer-turned-florist Joanne Nikitas and her fun-lovin’ criminals, and so on and so forth.

A fantastic dinner by culinary superstar Joanne Chang was punctuated by riveting speeches, a live auction and a “fund a need” that prompted the following remark:

“It takes 25 gallons of enamel to paint the ship.”

“Funny. It takes 25 gallons of enamel to paint my face.”


What Do You Do for an Encore?
So you’re a party planner who’s done state dinners for Obama, Chelsea Clinton’s wedding and every celebration anyone remembers over the past 15 years in Boston, Nantucket and Palm Beach. You’re turning 50, and your poor loved ones have to throw you a bash that’ll wow you. They succeeded admirably, at least as far as I can remember, because Bryan Rafanelli’s blow-out demi-centennial, hosted in P’town by his handsome husband, Mark Walsh, had everyone oohing, aahing and otherwise moaning with pleasure.

A day of activities, hosted partially by fairy godfather Danny Mullin at his West End manse, barely gave anyone time to change into their finery for cocktails beneath the Monument and a dinner (accompanied by eye-popping entertainment that included videotaped greetings from the likes of the secretary of state) at Town Hall.

Present and accounted for: the magnificent Roberta Weiner and her real estate magnate husband, Steve, silver fox Pamela Humphrey and her hubby, John (who sailed in on their 75-foot yacht Wild Thing), yummy mummy Randi Cutler and her adoring other half, Joel, Colombian lothario Ricardo Rodriguez and his dead sexy husband, Michael Kelley, hairstylist to the rich and famous Sal Malafronte and his adorable other half, Darin Contini, and countless sparkly others.

The following day (despite blinding hangovers and blistering heat), everyone congregated at the East End home of Bobby Kelley for some hair of the dog and a delicious brunch. And if that doesn’t qualify as the sine qua non and n’est plus ultra of birthday parties, I shouldn’t be writing this column.