Glass Acts
Photographs by Jesse Burke
Somebody once said, “The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who’s drunk and who’s just stupid.”
Untrue. Almost everything about being a bartender is hard, from remembering large orders to dealing with annoying customers to smiling when someone orders the 20th mojito of the night. Then there are the odd hours, the incessant standing, and the physical and mental exertion involved in acting like what one wag described as “essentially a pharmacist with a limited inventory.” In short, bartending is a calling. And for the greats of the profession, it’s a noble one.
It’s to them that we dedicate this issue. As always, in assembling our list, we relied heavily upon readers’ suggestions. Then we blended that with some of our own expertise, added a jigger of fresh reporting and presto! The Improper Bostonian’s Most Beloved Bartenders, Class of 2011.
Please visit these charming gentlemen and ladies at their watering holes, which range from neighborhood pubs to hotel bars and clubs. And check out their signature-drink recipes at improper.com. Then you can join us in toasting the finest cocktail artists on the Charles.
Cheers, slainte, prost and salud!
Chris Durham
House of Blues Boston | 15 Landsdowne St., Boston | 888-693-2583 | houseofblues.com
Current craze: Our demographic changes depending on the act we have, so it could be all white wine and Cosmos one night, PBR and Narragansett the next, and then all “strong islands” and Kamikazes.
Drink of choice: Currently, a Rittenhouse Sazerac.
Bar Snack of Choice: Hoisin hog wings from Local 149 in Southie.
Have a rabbi, a priest and an alligator ever walked into your bar? We celebrate all walks of life.
Soundtrack of Your Bar: This calendar year alone, we’ve had John Brown’s Body, Robert Plant, Trey Anastasio, George Clinton, Queens of the Stone Age, the Pogues, Robert Randolph and Gogol Bordello. I got to see Bruce Springsteen play with the Dropkick Murphys!
Best Tip Story: A few years ago at the House of Blues San Diego, Tenacious D was playing. One of the production guys on tour with them was drinking at my bar before the show. I said how big a Jack Black fan I am, and I bought him a couple of shots. Sure enough, after the show, he comes back with a plastic bag and says, “Thanks for the shots.” Inside the bag was the T-shirt Jack Black wore on stage that night! It has a giant dragon blowing smoke and fire, and it was soaked with sweat, but I didn’t care. I wrung the sweat out into a vial and wore it around my neck for a year. Just kidding.
Best drunk customer story: Also in San Diego, a friend tried to drink as much Rumpleminz as he could. Wouldn’t you know it, he had to abandon his underwear in the men’s room.
Next bar trend: Circus bears on stools. Mark my word.
Signature drink: The Titty Flicker
½ oz. Absolut Mandarin, ½ oz. Absolut Citron, ½ oz. Absolut Vanilla, ½ oz. Absolut Raspberri, 1 oz. sour mix, 1 oz. cranberry juice. Shake and strain over ice. Splash with Sprite. Garnish with a lemon.
Jacqui Berardi
The Liberty Hotel Bar | 215 Charles St., Boston | 617-224-4000 | libertyhotel.com
l like to spend as much time as possible with my family. If I do go out, I like to try new places. Basho in the Fenway is a favorite.
Brut Champagne, and I’m always down to try a spin on any Champagne cocktail.
Raw oysters, and depending on my mood, a New Zealand sauvignon blanc or glass
of bubbly.
That’s a normal Saturday night.
Drinks for the rabbi and the priest, and I throw some of chef’s veal sliders at the alligator.
Dansko clogs (patent leather, of course).
I love making my own organic fruit purees.
This wasn’t at Liberty, but right before I left to study abroad in Italy, a very disappointed MLB player sat at my bar. I didn’t expect much from a Yankee, but he ended up leaving me enough to cover my first shopping expedition in Florence.
Reinventing what a bar is by connecting guests with an unrelated experience like art, fashion, music.
After serving someone, being told who’s next. It’s my bar. I know who’s next.
Hot Mess
Add 3 oz. Double Cross vodka, 1 oz. dirty juice, and 2 dashes of Tabasco in a shaker. Shake and strain into a martini glass. Garnish with a Grillo’s hot pickle spear.
Lucas Rozene
Stella | 1525 Washington St., Boston | 617-247-7747 | bostonstella.com
Tremont 647, Noche and then usually out to a club.
Only to test for “quality purposes.”
People are intrigued by unfamiliar ingredients and more apt to let you create something for them on a whim. This has led to some fantastic recipes (Knob Creek, maple syrup, sweet vermouth and Aperol), as well as a few disastrous ones (Tabasco, olive juice, red pepper flakes and vodka).
Sidecars, gimlets and older classic cocktails like Negronis, Vespers, Champagne cocktails, Aviations.
I’ve always had an eye on Rob Botelho, who works the gay nightclub circuit in town. Although he’s always two or three people deep at the bar, his smile is genuine, and the upbeat attitude
never fades.
Jack Daniel’s on the rocks.
Any kind of pâté, rillette, confit or cured meat with a nice, funky French red.
Dessert wines.
I was working on Long Island, and we were four or five deep at the bar. The soda gun had no bubbles. My bar-back didn’t know how to change it; the cash drawer was stuck shut; and a guy orders a dirty martini, asking if we have blue-cheese-stuffed olives. Meanwhile, I was serving vodka and Red Bull out of plastic cups. I poured his drink, and one ice cube fell in the glass. Before I could even spoon it out, the guy said, “You need to learn how to make a martini. There isn’t supposed to be ice in it.” I looked him in the eye and threw his drink into the trash. The regular sitting at the bar handed me a hundred dollar bill.
Sangrias and punches (it’s patio season!).
The Number 17 (I came up with 16 other names for it, and they all sounded cheesy)
1 1/2 oz. Absolut Ruby Red vodka, 1/2 oz. St-Germain, ¼ oz. Aperol. Finish with fresh grapefruit juice. Shake ingredients on ice and pour into a highball glass. Garnish with a lime wedge.
Nolan Martin
Dillon’s | 955 Boylston St., Boston | 617-421-1818 | dillonsboston.com
Hang out in South Boston and maybe go to the Playwright. The Pour House is always a good time. Bukowski, the Capital Grille and Sonsie.
The cocktail I seem to make the most is the mojito.
For beer, I enjoy Amstel or Guinness (with a shot of vanilla vodka). When I’m in the mood, Dewar’s on the rocks with a splash of water.
Swedish Fish, white-chocolate pretzels or Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.
Agave nectar.
Liquor. Kidding! There’s a new drink called Berry Good on the menu that we use blueberry juice for, and it tastes amazing!
There’s a lot of math involved.
There was one time this guy came in and started drinking Booker’s on the rocks, which is over 120-proof. He then explained evolutionary biology on a bar napkin.
Flavored vodkas geared toward college kids: cotton candy, root beer or the new Mountain Dew flavor.
When people order one drink and then close their tab, and then five minutes later do it again.
1 ½ parts Pinnacle Whipped Cream vodka, ½ part creme de menthe, a dash of chocolate syrup and a splash of milk. Shake and serve as a shot.
