When Valentine’s Day rolls around, do you you swoon over all things red and anatomically incorrect hearts? Or maybe you hate any commercialized holiday that sells love with chocolate? Whatever the case, we have a Feb. 14 itinerary for you. / Hannah McKennett

Heart Eyes

With February upon us, couples that survived cuffing season are faced with a new challenge: Track down a red rose bouquet and snatch a dinner reservation in time for the year’s ultimate date night. But this time around, replace the candles and white tablecloths with Dining in the Dark ($95 per person), the Hampshire House’s dinner experience that’s guaranteed to arouse the senses. Beginning at 6 pm, indulge in a four-course meal, live music and an interactive show—in a pitch-black restaurant. Once your stomach is full and you have a new appreciation for overhead lights, head to Laugh Boston at 8 pm for its Laugh Is for Lovers: A Valentine’s Day Comedy Showcase ($25 per person). Belly-busting jokes from comedians like Xazmin Garza and Will Noonan are sure to help you bond with your babe, and you can keep the laughs rolling over Valentine’s-themed champagne cocktails and blues music until 12:30 am at the Beehive’s weeklong “Spread the Love” celebration—a sultry end to the most romantic night of the year.

Pal-entine’s Day

If you’re spending the day with your ride-or-dies, show them some love on Feb. 11 at Boston City Tap House’s Galentine’s Brunch, which includes a flower and $5 cocktails in addition to heart-shaped Nutella-strawberry pancakes and mimosas. Continue the celebration once the 14th hits by avoiding V-Day PDA at the Museum of Fine Arts. During the Naked at the Art Museum Scavenger Hunt ($19), art history might just get you blushing while on a scandalous tour of the best of the MFA—and if not, the Automatic is here to turn up the heat. The Cambridge restaurant calls all anti-Valentine’s vigilantes for Cupid’s Hell Night, promising each and every guest a spicy evening filled with sweat, tears and a whole lot of hot chilies. Subdue the flames with a cocktail or two and end your night with friends that are here to stay.

Treat Yo’ Self

If you’re all about that self-love, buy yourself a heart-shaped box of chocolates and make your way to the Brattle Theatre for a big-screen showing of romance classic Casablanca ($11) at 4 pm. Why bring a date when no one can live up to Humphrey Bogart anyway? Once the credits roll and the tears have dried, treat yourself to Viyada Thai Spa’s Freedom of Love Package ($185), which ensures a glow up with a salt glow body scrub and 60-minute aromatherapy massage, not to mention the included refreshment and chocolate. Radiant and replenished, fill your stomach with something other than sweets at Burlington’s Island Creek Oyster Bar. Coined Romance and R&R, this meal for one comes with a certificate for a free gel manicure at the neighboring Mane and Mani Salon. Pop over a door for another pampering session and then end your night back at the Brattle to complete your successful me-day. Nothing says self-love like a 10 pm showing of The Princess Bride ($11), because today, everything is “as you wish.”