By Rima Butto

Your mother may have sound advice on a lot of subjects, but does she have Ivy League expertise in casual sex and hook-ups? Dr. Justin Lehmiller, Harvard psychology fellow and The Psychology of Human Sexuality blogger, uses science to  debunk common dating and relationship beliefs.

You can’t approach a guy the same way you approach a girl.    

“[Both] men and women prefer it when people approach us directly and simply say hello, compliment us or start up a casual conversation,” explains Lehmiller, adding that cheesy pick-up lines are usually a turnoff. “When it comes to attraction and relationships, we all seem to want a partner who is intelligent, funny and honest.” In regards to appearance, research shows men prefer good looks only slightly more than women.

Friends with benefits are destined for disaster.

“The problem that a lot of friends with benefits run into is that they don’t establish any ground rules up front, [so] one of you might develop unreciprocated feelings,” says Lehmiller. But, when friends with benefits are good communicators, he believes it’s possible to have a mutually satisfying experience that can result in an even stronger relationship.

All relationships will always have an undying passion.

“It’s exceedingly rare for couples to experience eternal passion in the real world,” says Lehmiller. “In most cases, passion builds up very quickly, but fades after a few months or years.” Some psychologists explain this experience as developed tolerance to the “feel good” brain chemicals induced from being with our partner. Just blame our biology.

It’s unlikely you’ll meet your significant other at a bar.

“Believe it or not, bars and restaurants are actually one of the most common ways people report meeting their romantic partners today,” Lehmiller says. “It’s possible to find love almost anywhere.” So you might want to keep that tab open.