My significant other and I are getting into the groove of hosting dinner parties for our friends and family. While we really do enjoy their company, and try to prepare dishes for everyone’s palate, we always seem to have one picky eater in the group who will complain no matter what we’ve made. As a host, how do you air your frustrations without offending the guest?

There are certain things that should be run by a benevolent dictator, not by a committee. Country clubs are one, and dinner parties are another. You are doing people a favor by having them to your home and providing dinner, stimulating conversation and the kind of intimate atmosphere that people really enjoy. If I were invited somewhere and had a peanut allergy, I would tell my host in advance. And if the host provided a protein, a starch and a veggie, and I didn’t like the taste of one of them, I would work around it and not be rude to my hosts. The art of a great dinner party is in picking the company, not the food. If you have a pain in the neck on your list, cross them off.

I have been dating this guy for 25-plus years. We have two kids, ages 24 and 17. Each year that goes by, I hear the tick-tock of the wedding bells clock, but he has so many excuses, from marriage tax penalties to the expense of a wedding. His attitude is “I gave you kids—what more do you want?” I have given up on this relationship and wonder if I would ever find someone at my age (46).  I am not sure how to meet interesting men who would find me attractive. My confidence is shattered, and it makes me sad to see co-workers and friends celebrating love and life with someone special. I wonder what I have been doing wrong. I keep myself fixed up—hair, nails and clothes. I work hard and played by the rules of being in a relationship, but feel like I have been robbed all these years. I do not know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I think the sell-by date has long expired on this one. I really understand that in American society today you can’t even define relationships anymore. But I think you can define happiness or unhappiness. I often seem to be asking people, “Where is it written that you can’t try to make yourself happy? There is certainly a case to be made for marriage being cheaper than single life, but your boyfriend’s financial objections to marriage are not the real point. Your boyfriend is happier being single—period. You are still plenty young enough, and your children are plenty old enough to handle you breaking up with their father. (Although if you live together, there may be legal complications that go with the common-law marriage concept. Check it out.) As for attracting other men, it sounds as if you are making efforts to keep yourself fit and attractive. And since there are at least a million kinds of love, my guess is that you would find at least several varieties that appeal to you. If you want one more try at keeping your long-term friend, give him a one-month ultimatum to “put up or shut up,” and stick to it. Just like finally selling a stock that’s bothered you for a long time, when you finally hit the “sell” button, it can be a relief.

It seems like everyone I know is on my case about having a baby. I’m 29 and newly married, but it’s not on our radar at the moment. How can I get them to back off?

Everyone else has the answers for us, and often never seem to have the right answers for themselves. Having babies—or not—is something only you can decide with your partner. Everybody else’s opinion, in my view, is worthless. Primal urges are primal urges, and other people’s experiences with children certainly could be completely different from yours. Never look back and say, “I woulda, shoulda, coulda.” Whatever your decision, you cannot put the blame or the credit on anyone else. I like to defuse rudeness or well-meaning curiosity with some humor. That lets others know the discussion is over. I’d say, “Everyone knows that the stork brings babies. I’m leaving the decision to the stork.” They’ll get the message.

I attend an elite university, but I have no motivation to go to class or work toward a degree because I’d rather go right into the workforce and start earning money as opposed to accumulating debt from college loans. My parents (who pay for my education) disagree, arguing that a degree will help me in the long run. What is more valuable: experience or education?

In my opinion, the education at college takes place not in the classroom, but from 10 at night till 2 in the morning with your peers. Unfortunately, we never stop being judged by others. And in various times of judgment—job interviews, club admissions, etc.—questions will inevitably rise about your college education. There are certain things that the adult world expects from us, and today, one of them is a college degree. As time goes on, your experience will keep building and forming you in so many ways. If you pay attention, one of those greatest experiences will be a college education. Stay the course.

A friend’s boyfriend wants to bring another woman into their bedroom. She’s amenable to it but wants to make sure it’s a person they’re both comfortable with and attracted to. Any advice for navigating this situation?

First of all, it’s you, isn’t it? Not some friend. Short-term fantasy fulfillment can certainly be exciting, but I bet if you venture into it, it will end in tears—especially if you’re merely amenable. In relationships, be careful of having images stuck in your brain that can come back to haunt you. But you’ll never really know until you try something yourself. My parents told me I’d love mushrooms, that they’d be my favorite. But I hate mushrooms.