Big Papi, Bigger Hats

Missives From the Jet Set

It’s His F—ing Party

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Tiffany and David Ortiz at the David Ortiz Children’s Fund Gala

The Mandarin Oriental was filled with heavy hitters when Red Sox slugger David Ortiz held his Dominican-themed gala for the David Ortiz Children’s Fund.

The night began with cocktails and schmoozing among the likes of affable gazillionaire John Henry and the astonishingly beautiful Linda, the equally fetching Stacey Lucchino and her other half, Larry, homegrown gold medalist Aly Raisman, the fresh-from-Hollywood Eliza Dushku, broadcasting big shot Chris Collins and his stunning wife, Georgia, hockey legend Derek Sanderson, all-star chef Ming Tsai, lovable loudmouth Lenny Clarke, broadcasting babes Heidi Watney, Jenny Dell and Jamie Erdahl, Gucci sex bomb Jorge Rodriguez, rabid Red Sox fans Debbie and Bob First, brunette beauty Amy Belkin with her handsome other half, Jay Mofenson, rascally restaurateur Michael Conlon and his gem of a wife, Nicole, and one woman who responded to a compliment on her dress by saying, “I could barely get it zipped; it’s gonna take a crowbar to get me out of it.”

Cocktails were accompanied by delicious Dominican nibbles like pork empanadas, as well as the opportunity to watch sports artist Dana Farano paint an original work while the silent auction bidding went bananas. The entertainment during dinner, meanwhile, included Latin dancers, and the live auction garnered a lot of laughs, in addition to a boatload of money.

In short, it was like a quick trip to Punta Cana, except that, as one guest noted: “If we were in the D.R., I’d be on a golf course, not in a hotel ballroom.”

And No, She’s Not Canadian

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Smoki Bacon at the Boston Landmarks Orchestra Gala

To people who don’t know her, few names elicit as much curiosity as Smoki Bacon’s. To people who do, few names elicit as much fondness and admiration. That’s why it was only fitting that the Boston Landmarks Orchestra honored the Boston doyenne at its annual gala, held at the Royal Sonesta Hotel.

A veritable Who’s Who was on hand to fete her, among them: former Gov. Michael Dukakis, Olympic skating legend Tenley Albright, national treasure Teddy Cutler, Sherborn bluebloods Donna and Bob Storer, the comme il faut Karen Rotenberg squired by the distinguished Michael, raconteur Upton Bell, the gorgeous Joanna Datillo, Monsieur le Chevalier Marvin Gilmore, PR princess Rosanne Mercer, Billy Dee Williams lookalike Arnold Sapenter and his equally sexy other half, Joseph Reed, real estate mack daddy Arthur Winn, North Shore nabobs Appy and Susan Chandler, beloved Beacon Hillions Ann and Marvin Collier, Bacon’s son-in-law, Chris Gabrieli, four of her absurdly accomplished grandchildren and numerous equally distinguished others.

Cocktails were served on the patio overlooking the Charles, and then everyone was ushered into the ballroom. Guests were encouraged to hold up masks of the honoree’s face as she made her entrance, accompanied by an original work entitled “Fanfare for Smoki.”

“There’s a joke in there somewhere,” someone said, sotto voce.

A delicious dinner was followed by dancing to the orchestra’s brass section, and the dance floor stayed full long after dessert was cleared. The evening’s most amusing remark came from the guest who said, “I’m half Russian and half English, which makes me 100 percent alcoholic.”

Judge Not

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The hat judges at the Rose Garden Party

A robbery took place, right beneath the mayor’s nose, at the annual Rose Garden Party, a benefit for Boston parks’ arts, science and fitness programs held in the Fenway’s Kelleher Rose Garden.

The otherwise flawless evening attracted the likes of Hizzoner Marty Walsh, Caribbean queen Colette Phillips, real estate magnate Maggie Ahearn, the soignée Melissa Flamburis, catering mogul Holly Safford, the bubbly blonde Connie Brown, twirling dervish Joshua Janson, one-woman fashion empire Sara Campbell, swanlike socialite Peggy Dray, the lovable, huggable Mary Hines, latter-day Louise Brooks Jane Roy, BSO babe Kim Noltemy and so on and so forth, most donning hats for a contest that was judged by yours truly, along with style mavens Elisha Daniels, Kathleen McDermott and Marie Galvin.

The roses never looked lovelier, the bubbly flowed like bubbly ought and everything went swimmingly—until the winners were announced and yours truly was, once again, denied the prize for best men’s hat because being a judge rendered me ineligible. I’m pressing charges, just as soon as I finish licking my wounds.


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