Hats Off

Missives from the Jet Set

Sisters Are Doin’ It for Themselves

(Alejandro Cardona, Isabella Lemos, Pamela Vargas, Abe Jeha, Paula Garcia and Jenny Fitzsimmons at Turn on the Light)

The only person who could have possibly been unhappy with the turnout at Turn on the Light—a benefit for My Life My Choice—was the fire marshal, because the fundraiser to end human trafficking broke both the record for attendance and the fire code. (Don’t tell anyone.)

Held at the Seaport Boston Hotel, the evening honored Mayor Marty Walsh and author/survivor Holly Austin Smith, and it attracted the likes of head honcha Lisa Goldblatt Grace and her gorgeous mother, Joan, statuesque brunette Pamela Vargas, the absurdly handsome Alejandro Cardona, blond bombshell Jenny Fitzsimmons, stunning City Councilor Ayanna Pressley and Attorney General Maura Healey, who vowed to prosecute the pimps, which prompted a guest to mutter, “How about prosecuting that guy over there who’s dressed like a pimp?”

The lobster rolls and crab cakes were superb, and as someone pointed out, “If you win the auction, you could be lounging on a beach in Mexico and legitimately claim to be ending exploitation.”

However, the evening’s best remark came from the guest who said, “I’m guessing the auction doesn’t include a DVD of Pretty Woman.”

The Run for the Roses

(Top Left: Ashley and Skylar Bernon at the Derby Dash; Top Right: Laura Baldini, Julie Hume Gordon and Aisha Al Riyami at the Derby Dash; Bottom Left: Chantelle Conti, Erica Corsano and Connie Brown at the Derby Dash; Bottom Right: The scene at the Derby Dash)

Those incredibly beautiful (and vital) horses you see patrolling the Emerald Necklace are unfortunately unable to pay for themselves, so the Friends of the Boston Park Rangers Mounted Unit hosted its third annual Derby Dash to scare up much-needed funds to keep our parks safe.

Held in the atrium of Copley Place, the mint julep-fueled evening had a bit of a fishbowl effect, with shoppers wondering why there were velvet ropes blocking off a bunch of men and women dressed for the Royal Enclosure at Ascot, hats and all. Yours truly was one of the hat judges, which proved to be a tricky business, not only because of the excellent selection but because of how seriously my fellow judges—The Globe’s Tina Sutton, The Herald’s Erica Corsano and Mix minx Kennedy Elsey—took their responsibilities. However, reason (or bourbon) prevailed, and we were able to crown deserving winners Maggie Ahearn, Laura Baldini, Anastasia Thibodeau and Debora Konig. In between being judgmental, I had the chance to mix and mingle with the likes of mother-and-daughter team Ashley and Skylar Bernon (giving Scarlett O’Hara a major run for her money), gorgeous redhead Chantelle Conti, designer extraordinaire Milicent Armstrong, dapper raconteur David Sebastian Wedemeyer, the lovably wry Brett Randolph, blond bombshell Claudine Lewis, hot ginge Michael Harper, rising star Josh Zakim, brunette beauty Jill Hall, Red Sox rainmaker Beth Krudys, fascinator Nina Lewis-Schroeder and the dapper William, the super suave Tony Fusco, the naturally carbonated Jillian Kuzyk and one woman who responded to a compliment on her Chanel outfit by saying, “It’s vintage…as is the cellulite.”

The evening’s funniest remark: “This was a lovely event, especially because it’s been a while since I was mounted by any kind of unit.”

Pickup Lines 101

(Left: The Hat Sisters with Ann Heimlicher at Dinnerfest; Middle: Nelly Carreño, Laura Baldini and Scott Galinsky with one of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence at Dinnerfest; Right: Stan Leven and Mary Richardson at Dinnerfest)

For its 40th (ruby) anniversary, Victory Programs held its annual Dinnerfest, dubbed the Red Party and Auction, appropriately enough, at Red Lantern.

The afternoon of bidding, kibitzing and imbibing attracted a glaringly good-looking crowd that included style icon Laura Baldini, Mexican firecracker Nelly Carreño, lovable curmudgeon Sammy Levitt, Kiss 108 cutie Jim Clerkin, the super sparkly DJ Glitter, blond bombshell Andrea Marquit Clagett, the adorable Ann Heimlicher, real estate mack daddy David Whitman, handsome husbands David Brown and Ben Perkins, the dashing Joe Antoun, banking hottie Rick Musiol, the ruggedly handsome Scott Galinsky, the Hat Sisters, the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, and so on and so forth.

“Sunday Funday doesn’t feel so decadent when it’s for a good cause,” said one guest, bidding on an item in the silent auction. “Makes spending my boyfriend’s money easier, too.”

The afternoon’s best quote: “I have an extra room in my bed for you.”

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